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Howard Glasser
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What strategies/specific approaches can be used in a school with middle schoolers to "re-wire" the way students like Reid seek attention?
The fact that this questioner sees the patterning of that short clip of Reid is a big advantage of knowing what you wish to achieve in the turnaround. It takes the three ’Stands’ that I unfortunately only had a few minutes to talk about. First, is now proving that relationship (the gift of you) is no longer available through negativity. Then, proving that great relationship is now very available by way of you seeing the goodness and greatness inherent in the decisions and choices that child is already doing most of the time (just reframing when problems aren’t happening to be reflective of the qualities of greatness I talked about, and lastly, when a line is crossed, just simply having a simple way of resetting to the next moments when the problems are no longer happening to then verbalize that in ways that now reflect the truth of the new good choice. We are relentlessly building Inner Wealth as the pathway to changing that old pattern. I suggest buying the book I wrote to convey this most simply…Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook.
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For those of us who are teachers, we may present this way of being in the world, teach strategies, etc. However, once they are home, they are exposed to the opposite. The family life may be the antithesis of what we present. I can only hope that our lessons will persevere but I'm not so sure. Other than in schools, where/how what formats can we present?
My experience overwhelmingly, having worked with hundreds of schools is that teachers who use Nurtured Heart to build Inner Wealth will have a lasting impact. At a sufficient point of IW, students have all it takes to withstand the majority of conflictual and challenging circumstances and influences that go on in the home or neighborhood. Teachers can have an amazingly impactful influence and can inspire in ways that win in the end.